Wedding Drama

I need advice. As you may have gathered, if you have read any of my past posts, our daughter Shauna is getting married in June. She is the first of our daughters to get married. She and Ryan have been together since her senior year in High School. First time I saw him I thought to myself “Oh my God! There is no way I want my daughter dating this guy with hair longer than mine, tattooed, eyebrow pierced and in a band no less!” But he was here to stay and we got to know him. He was/is awesome with the Terrible Trio. My dog, Abby loved him. And it wasn't long before we did too.

Two years they had Riley.  They did not want to get married at that time but always knew they would. They wanted to do it on their own time frame, not everyone else's. Now is their time frame. So we started making wedding plans. I wanted this be a wonderful time and a beautiful night and a very inclusive time for both of our families. It has not turned out that way.

I have asked his mother on several occasions if she would like to take part in different aspects of planning phases. There was always an excuse as to why she could not. Shauna's 3 sisters and his sister are the bridesmaids. We picked the dresses without his sister there because she couldn't be, but his mom tried to get out of buying a dress from the place we used. All of the dresses are the same color, but she wanted her friend to make her daughters? At the time I didn't understand it. The dresses were not that expensive, around $100. And they more than have the income to afford that. I would understand if they did not.

Well apparently his mother, reluctantly, told Shauna the other day that his dad said when they first decided to get married that he was not spending any money at all on this wedding! Well first of all, I haven't asked them to pay for anything, yet. But there are things that traditionally the grooms family do pay for. Rehearsal dinner, etc.. I just don't know what to think! This is their only son! They gave me a guest list with 60 to 65 people on it! I am supposed to feed these people, but they don't want to contribute? Oh, but they do want to use the flower girl dress that I paid $100 for, for Riley to wear at their daughter's wedding ceremony in the fall. A wedding that they are paying for!  The thing that bothers me is that these people are better of financially than we are.  So I am only left to assume that they have a problem with my daughter?  Hopefully this is not the case.

Anyway, we are going to dinner with them tonight. We are going out so it will be neutral territory. They know it is to discuss wedding stuff but I didn't say anything about knowing what he had said. Hopefully he will have changed his mind and all will be good. But if not my thoughts are...Well if I have to cover their part I will have to make cuts in the guest list and by rights it will be their guest. And since they are having no part in it, then their names should be left off of the announcements in the paper. I really hate it, but I just see any other way. Any other ideas?